Apart from learning the power of friendship and the violence of human beings in the dark fantasy world of The Witcher games, you also get to learn much about relationships… to a certain extent. That’s because Geralt has a colorful experience with dating (whether casual or serious) that you can take some lessons from his portfolio of lovers, flings, and long-term commitments.

Of course, not all of Geralt’s exploits are successful. There some which are certainly not worth pursuing either because they’re not significant enough as characters or their behavior and goals contradict the witcher’s. They help the viable romances stand out for Geralt; so, here are five examples of good romances and another five for bad romances for Geralt. Take notes if you must.

10 PERFECT FOR GERALT: JUTTA AN DIMUN

One of the key elements of a successful romance is finding common ground with the person you’re attracted to. That sounds like something that would come out of a relationship blog but in Geralt’s case, it’s true. That’s why he immediately clicked with a certain shieldmaiden from Skellige named Jutta an Dimun.

She’s one of the fiercest warrior women you’ll ever encounter in-game and she’ll only romance men who are able to defeat her in combat. A fair standard for partners, as far as those go. Anyway, Geralt won not only against her but also her heart and attention. What’s surprising is that Jutta is quite similar to Geralt in a way that both of them wear their battle scars like tattoos and are proud of them.

9 NEVER WOULD’VE WORKED: BROTHELS

We probably don’t need to explain why this one wouldn’t work but in any case, here it goes. You’ll find no shortage of prostitutes in the city of Novigrad in The Witcher 3. Most of them are out in the streets and if you want an audience with them, you’ll have to visit them in the brothels.

Anyway, even Geralt should be mature enough to know that romance with a sex worker is as rare as snow during Summer. All they provide is a momentary bliss that isn’t free or worth remembering usually. Plus it’s not really a romance or a decent human connection if the other party can’t say no or refuse now, is it?

8 PERFECT FOR GERALT: VES

Ves is similar to Jutta in many respects. She might not be as good with a sword but her commando and leadership skills make her a worthy protege of Vernon Roche, commander of the Blue Stripes. Hence, Ves’ life is full of battlefield hardships and turmoil though it’s where she truly belongs.

For that matter, Geralt also seems to have no trouble connecting with her. Both are at ease with a wanderer’s life and have survived many battles and deadly encounters. In a world where a warrior’s life is short and violent, these two survivors can easily find comfort and refuge in each other’s arms.

7 NEVER WOULD’VE WORKED: SUCCUBUS

While the succubus won’t charge Geralt with anything monetary after the coitus, he might still have to pay dearly with his life energy. Well, if you don’t know already, that’s what a succubus does. Even so, Geralt just had to brave having a fling with one back in The Witcher 2.

Again, you probably know already why a relationship with a succubus won’t work. Apart from the fact that they’re not humans, they’re also some of the creatures Geralt is paid to kill. Can you imagine him being in a relationship with a succubus? It’s like a Blade Runner having a relationship with a rogue android… oh wait.

6 PERFECT FOR GERALT: SHANI

Shani is one of Geralt’s longest and most loyal friends dating back from when she saved the witcher in the books. That didn’t lead to anything but the games made Shani a more respectable romantic option for Geralt. She’s a sophisticated woman with noble ideals and a great appearance.

She’s like Triss but without the treachery and the magic (they’re even both redheads). Due to that, it stands within reason that Geralt will likely have lifelong happiness if he ever decides to settle with Shani. Really, that would have worked since Geralt is a wanderer and Shani jumps from battlefield to battlefield tending to the wounded. Besides, there’s simply no toxicity between both of them.

5 NEVER WOULD’VE WORKED: PRINCESS ADDA

Here’s a weird one. Anyone who’s played The Witcher (the first one) will remember that the writers and developers of that game actually brought back Princess Adda/the Striga where she has grown into a young adult. Even more chilling is the fact that they made her romance-able.

As for why such a relationship with Geralt will simply not work, there’s the fact that Adda is Foltest’s daughter and whoever her partner needs to be sterile. Oh, and Foltest will probably have Geralt beheaded if he ever finds out about their tryst. Last but not least, Adda apparently still has a tendency to turn back into a Striga, as demonstrated in the game. Good luck sleeping beside that kind of human.

4 PERFECT FOR GERALT: TRISS

Triss might have committed the unforgivable treachery by snatching Geralt from Yennefer’s hands, but she somehow redeemed herself come the third game. Triss has become noble and more heroic by saving her fellow mages. The games also make it appear as if she was really in love with Geralt which has come a long way from her infatuation with the witcher in the books.

When it comes to their relationship, Triss is also warm and considerate towards Geralt which makes the choice between Yennefer and her quite difficult. In any case, an ending where Triss ends up together with Geralt is pure bliss for the remainder of their lifetimes. This one’s definitely a given already.

3 NEVER WOULD’VE WORKED: SYANNA

Syanna is Renfri’s closest equivalent in The Witcher video games and by now, you probably already know what happened to people like Renfri. Syanna could have easily received the same fate depending on your choices in the Blood and Wine expansion. That’s regardless of whether you chose to have the magical coitus with Syanna.

Despite the romantic overtones of that scene, it appears to be nothing more than a casual playful agreement between two adults. We’re not even sure if Syanna is capable of stability or love, given how she always uses the people closest to her; she even used a high vampire just to get revenge. Geralt will likely get the same treatment.

2 PERFECT FOR GERALT: YENNEFER

There she is, she just had to be here. Yennefer is Geralt’s one true pair in the books and in the show. In the games, that’s up to you. However, there’s no denying the tough and tempered history between these two destined lovers. Despite being bound only by a Djinn’s magic, these two seemingly make it work somehow.

Of course, they’re a toxic on-and-off couple where both of them also kept cheating on one another but they always end up in each other’s arms. Even if it’s not by their own free will, the Djinn’s magic will make sure that their relationship works. It’s not like they have a limited time anyway, both of them are functionally immortal and are free to make all the mistakes they want until they settle with each other.

1 NEVER WOULD’VE WORKED: KEIRA METZ

Keira Metz didn’t even have an emotional connection with Geralt in the books. Her appearances were also brief and not that significant to the story. Keira also made it clear that she only used Geralt for a heinous selfish goal which is a bit of a downer after the spicy coitus preceded by Cinderalla-type foreplay.

Besides, Keira also explicitly stated that she preferred dark-haired men. That’s probably why she will fall for Lambert if you brought her to Kaer Morhen. Such a relationship between Geralt and Keria never would have worked, even though Geralt seems to prefer sorceresses most of the time.